Doing the online Bible study NO OTHER GODS (NOG)is opening my eyes to a lot of spiritual junk I have on me. Not only TV, which I'll get to later on, but also my need to control my surroundings and everything else in my life. I've shared on another Lifeway Community my need to control everything I do so as not to have an accident, so I won't get hurt, suffer no pain etc. The fear of pain or injury dictates my life. Which bring me to Larissa's latest seizure. I'm frightened!! There I've said it. I'm afraid of her having another seizure, what if she dies. This I cannot control, but I'll try!I find myself watching her for any sign of danger. I keep feeling her head, is she hot? I keep asking her if she feels good. Coming home with her in the car I had the AC going full blast to keep the car cold so she won't get hot and have a seizure. All of sudden I just started crying. It was then that I realized what I'm trying to do and there's no controling what happens to Larissa and I am afraid. I want the seizures to stop. I want her to be herself again. But there is no guarantee that it won'd happen again. And I know God is in control, but what if he chooses to not heal her in that area. And I know that all things work together for good, but what if she has another one. And I am afraid. I'm afraid of her having a seizure with me around. I won't be able to handle it. I don't know what to do with these feelings I'm having but I will trust God to help me sort this out. I am in a state of fear right now. Fear for Larissa and what will happen.
Now on to TV and SAVING GRACE (SG). I bring it up again because the enemy keeps bringing it up. This morning watching the news a commercial comes on to say SG season opener tonight, don't miss! The commercial gets my curiosity going again. I turn off the TV and head to work. SG forgotten. Then around 3 pm I get an email alert. SG season opener starts tonight! Watch preview of tonights show! Of course I click since it is only a trailer. Lord help me! Well the trailer wasn't very good so that was good for me. I know I'm going to have a time tonight keeping away from that show. But I am resolving not to watch it anymore. It isn't good for me. There are other shows I'm going to have to give up too. But SG is the biggest.
Well that it for now. I'm going to check out my blogging buddies and then click this thing off and do some Bible study. God's Word will be my defense against the enemy. I'm going to look up some scripture on renewing the mind. That's what I need right now, a renewed mind.
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